I read an article on CNN the other day about a new invention for the funeral industry.  They essentially describe it as a “high-tech, weatherproof [scrapbook], with digital images powered by a solar cell.”  That’s right.  It’s a little solar powered 7″ video screen that people can watch slide-shows or videos on…all from the comfort of their loved one’s tombstone!

Of course, those offering these idiotic devices admit to having trouble making sales.  Some of them haven’t even unloaded a single one.  In case any of these people are confused as to why nobody’s buying, I’d like to offer a possible reason:  IT’S A FUCKING STUPID IDEA.

The fact that they want people to pony up $2,000 fucking dollars so they can see a ten minute video every year or so when they visit the cemetery is ridiculous.  First off, it’s a waste of money.  If I want people to have access to a 10-minute photo montage of me after I die…there are better ways to do it.  For $2,000 I could print a DVD for every person I’ve ever known.  Hell…for that matter, I could just put it on YouTube for free!

Secondly, electronics are temporary.  People pay thousands of dollars for engraved tombstones because they’re practically permanent.  Nobody wants to have to pay for repairs on a fucking tombstone every few years.

Let’s not forget that the whole idea is fucking tacky in the first place.  Cemeteries are supposed to be nice serene places where we are allowed peace and quiet to properly mourn the dead.  The desire to bring technology into even these places is almost offensive.

I, for one, applaud society for at least having the common sense to not buy these things.