Tomorrow, Autumn and I are leaving on a much needed vacation.  We will be in southern Florida until March 11th.  In the interest of keeping content flowing on this site, I will be writing daily Blorts for the entirety of the trip.

However…since I won’t have computer access, I will be writing them now.  They will then automatically be posted each day.  Now, this obviously means that I will have to use some creative license and make a few guesses about what’s going to happen, but it’s better than letting the site completely languish, right?

When calling a fellow employee for something that literally takes them one second to do:

If they don’t answer the first time…do not immediately leave them a message.  Why?  Because they then must log into their voice mail, listen to your message, do the simple-ass thing you needed, then call your fucking ass back just to tell you they did it.  Before putting them through all that extra bullshit, do them a favor, and at least try to call them one more time before leaving the message.  That’s just common fucking sense you lazy twit.

This episode was awesome, with many of those “what the fuck” moments that I look for in this show.  They certainly have jumped into the whole time travel concept since they first began toying with it.  As a whole, I’m a little confused so far.  Desmond and the other guy appear to be going back in time, which kind of doesn’t make sense if radiation/electromagnetism are supposed to send you forward.  I can’t wait to see how they tie this all together, though.  Daniel is quickly becoming a favorite character of mine.

Admittedly, episode’s like this are probably what keeps turning less dedicated viewers away from this show.

What if Lauren Cleri (not Lauren Cleary as I had previously thought…thanks a lot Wikipedia!) had answered that question about “being a good person” correctly? What questions could have possibly come after that? This flash parody explores the possibilities.

Also on YouTube.

As if Autumn’s lost job, my hospital visit, and my terrible raise weren’t enough:

This morning Autumn went outside to discover that her car had been stolen.  Someone had tried to do the same thing 3 months ago but had been impeded by their own stupidity.  That time, they only broke a few pieces, which cost us a few hundred dollars.  This time, they got away with the whole thing.  I’m just hoping these idiots do a better job of stealing this time.  Since I have GAP insurance, a total loss would probably be the cheapest way for this to end…

We watched the new episode of Moment of Truth tonight. In case you haven’t seen it, this is a game show where people are asked embarrassing questions that they’ve previously answered while on a polygraph. If they tell the truth, they can win up to 500,000 dollars. If they lie once, though, they leave with nothing. The contestant tonight was some whore named Lauren Cleary.

Basically, here was how the last few questions went (keep in mind that her husband was sitting there watching all this as it happened):

“So, Lauren…On your wedding night, did you believe you were in love with someone else?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think that you should be married to your ex-boyfriend instead of your husband?”
“Yes.”
“Have you engaged in sexual activity with someone else, since you’ve been married?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think that you’re a good person?”
“Yes.”

At this point, the polygraph decided that she was lying. Apparently she did not think she was a good person. In a way it was satisfying to see her lose everything just because her ego wouldn’t let her be honest about what a horrible person she was. However…I really wish she would have won the money. Why? With the tape of this show, he would have gotten everything in the divorce.

Edit 2:  It appears I may have been spelling her name wrong all this time.  It seems to actually be spelled “Lauren Cleri.”

Edit 3: Also, I’ve made an animated parody of the whole thing.

What if Lauren Cleri had answered that question about “being a good person” correctly? What questions could have possibly come after that? This flash explores the possibilities.

Also on YouTube.

A couple late updates on Lost… 

The Economist:  An awesome episode.  I’ve been waiting for them to finally confirm some kind of time travel, but the way they did it was pretty classy.  I’m kind of disappointed that the amount of delay on the beacon wasn’t one of “the numbers” though.  What ever happened to those numbers anyway?  Just because they blew up the hatch, they just don’t mean anything anymore?

Eggtown:  If Sayid and Desmond haven’t made it to the ship yet, then there must be even more delay leaving the island than there is entering.  That’s cool, but I’m not sure how I feel about the end of the episode.  It doesn’t make much sense for people to think that Aaron is Kate’s baby.  I mean, they know she wasn’t visibly pregnant on the day of the plane crash, and Claire was about to have the damn baby at that point.  So in the eyes of the rest of the world, wouldn’t Aaron be a year older than any baby Kate should have?

Please stop flashing your brights at red lights thinking that it will cause them to change.  The evidence proving that this does not work is astoundingly fucking obvious, and you’re really breaking down my (already shaken) faith in society…

About two weeks ago, someone stole a bunch of money from the safe where Autumn worked.  The decision of the brilliant management team there was that if nobody came forward and confessed to the crime, all 4 people who had the combination that night would be fired.  Being a supervisor, Autumn was one of the people privy to that combination.

Needless to say, she didn’t do it…but no longer works there.  I don’t remember that threat ever working right in elementary school, either…

All’s still sucky on the western front, but I thought I’d let the masses know that I’m not dead.