I’m gonna do something on this site just as soon as everything stops sucking so much.

Maybe tomorrow.

Someone left this on our door Thursday morning, which leads me to the following question:  What the shit?

 Just look at the signatures on the back.  These are real grown-up names and handwriting:

…Keith Olbermann is pretty cool.

We were all hanging out having a few drinks after the recent Ron Paul rally, when something terrifying happened like nothing we had ever seen.  Thundersnow!  Of course, we took this new experience as a sign that global warming had come to kill us all.  A few minutes of browsing the Wikipedia entry cleared things up, however.

Apparently the XBox 360 has something in each game called “achievements.”  This means that every now and then when you do something “noteworthy” in your gaming, a little gray pop-up will tell you about it.  Then you get points that are added to your “gamerscore.”

The interesting thing here is that people are now obsessing over this virtual street cred so much that some of them are actually paying other people to play their games in order to gain harder to achieve…achievements.  This has officially become the absolute lamest practice in the world.  At least when Everquest nerds pay for high-level characters there’s some kind of benefit to it!  I can understand not wanting to put hundreds of hours into a game just to be able to see everything without getting killed (I don’t condone it, but I understand it).

Paying someone to play your games just so you can brag about a list of achievements that you actually didn’t achieve, though?  Let’s face it:  If you suck at life so bad that this seems like a good idea, you might want to consider achieving suicide.

The copyright page for the Sellotape website claims, and I quote, “Hyperlinking to this site, is not permitted without the express prior permission of Sellotape®.”

Obviously no one would ever be so bold as to tell people they can’t link to their site, nor would it be very effective.  Obviously what’s going on here is a bit of reverse psychology.  Tell people they can’t link to your website and they’ll do it just to spite you…right?  If you look, they even placed an unnecessary comma in the middle of the sentence.  I’m assuming that this pause is where you would insert a quiet snicker.

Well, fuck you Sellotape.  There’s no way I’m ever linking to your site!

…wait.

Damn they’re good.

I almost forgot to post these interesting search terms that led people to my site during the month of January:

• anne hathaway bj
• robopocalypse
• mike huckabee “blinks a lot”
• What is it called when no argument is presented in an article?
• im the nazi
• jacksdead
• cloverfield SUCKS
• I’m sorry for being an asshole card
• dead deer picture that are hanging
• machine rape
• “The reality is” giuliani

About 8 years ago, I found myself jobless and living in an apartment in Glendale.  I had applied to all of the businesses in the area, including an organic grocery store called Alfalfa’s Market.  Being kind of a “new age” business, their applications included a blank white square with the instructions, “Draw your dream!”  I decided to sketch a little picture of myself receiving a paycheck from Alfalfa’s Market.

…I didn’t get that job.

A polar bear skeleton in the desert with a Dharma Initiative collar?  Just another reason why I love Lost.  The new cast members seem to be interesting and likable as well.  I’m especially looking forward to learning more about Miles.

The opening was amazing as well, but I’m glad they confirmed that the plane was a fake.  The last thing we need right now is another huge unanswered question.

The good news:  The Mormon guy that got the congressional district spot at my caucus, might not show up to the county convention now.

The bad news:  This is going to make stopping a McCain majority much, much harder.