Americans everywhere are so up in arms about a new advertisement by Absolut Vodka, that the company has actually decided to pull it. The ad, only released in Mexico, showed a map of North America where the Mexican border extended north of the Rio Grande, into U.S. territory, and included the caption, “In an Absolut world.” (You don’t say? How dare they?!)

I’m personally a little offended that Absolut gave in to the whiny minority in this instance, because they had nothing to apologize for. All of the arguments against this advertisement are baseless, incredibly moronic and ethnocentric beyond belief. Comments about it range from the over-exaggerated, “I have poured the remainder of my Absolut bottles down the sink” to the horrendously misguided, “What if we drew up a map showing Paris as German territory? Same thing!”

That last quote (supposedly from a conservative talk radio host, although I’ve yet to verify which one) is an example of exactly what is wrong with America. The idiots are angry, but they don’t really know why. They all assume that this ad is some exhortation for Mexicans to invade the United States (hence the anger and comparisons to Nazi occupation). However, this only proves how little these “patriotic Americans” care to know about real history.

Perhaps they don’t teach about this in school anymore (we were always at war with Eastasia), but this map is actually a fairly accurate representation of what Mexico actually looked like in 1846, before the Mexican-American War. How is it possibly offensive, or anti-American, for an ad to imply that Mexicans might possibly prefer to still own the land that was ceded to the United States in 1848?

This is why patriotism runs so low in this country: The only people being vocal about it are pretty bad fucking spokesmen. In this day and age, real Americans supposedly believe that the United States have always existed as they are now on this flat Earth, and that we should boycott anyone who dares to suggest otherwise…despite logic and all in the name of freedom!

If that’s patriotism, count me the fuck out.