Looking around the city, you’ll see Obama’s trendy little bumper stickers everywhere.  One thing I hardly ever see, though, is someone advertising McCain.  No, his supporters are far more likely to plaster a snarky “NOBAMA” sticker on their cars.

Really, though, it’s as if McCain supporters have subconsciously conceded, “Look…we know our candidate sucks, but you don’t want Obama, do you???”  That’s all McCain is, though, isn’t he?  A write in vote for “Not Democrat.”  Perhaps the Republicans should have thought of this a long time ago and nominated someone good.

In any case, I can certainly agree with the sentiment.  I, too, want Nobama for president.  I also want, um…let’s say…McCain’t?

I know, I know.  National Online Kidney Stone Awareness Month seems to have been going on for at least twice that.  Maybe even more.  But it’s almost over!

After working her way through the bureaucratic nightmare that is the American Healthcare System (and in fact even “moving to Denver” to qualify for the “non-emergency surgery” that she needed to “not lose her kidney”), Autumn is finally stone free!  Gifts of congratulations can be sent to PO Box 462006, Aurora, CO, 80046, c/o Brian Cutaia.

Anyway…there’s only one last tiny detail to be tended to.  After the surgery, the doctors had to insert one final stent into Autumn’s ureter.  She had the option to either have the stent removed later in one last operation, OR receive a stent with a string attached…one which she would need to pull out herself a few days later.  So, needless to say, she currently has a string hanging out of her urethra.  Monday night, we’re gonna get her really drunk and yank that sucker out.  Basically, my girlfriend is a badass.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Last night I discovered that my crappy old cover of Nothing Compares 2 U (from my first album…available free/now/here!) had somehow ended up on a “blog” post celebrating the 50th birthdays of Madonna, Michael Jackson and Prince.  I have no idea where these people found my version, but they jammed it straight into a list of 49 other Prince covers.  The part that sucks?  The list is full of well-produced, nice-sounding songs by actual accomplished artists:  Damien Rice, Sex Mob, Foo Fighters, Beck, etc…and then “cutaia.”

Interestingly enough, the out of place lack of capitalization in my name indicates that they at least spent a little time at my site, so it seems that they would have noticed that I’m not famous enough for their readers to care about.  In a way, it’s slightly embarrassing.  I imagine people going through the list, rocking out and such, only to suddenly find themselves in a full on lo-fi assault by one of the first songs I ever recorded.  Actually, now that I think about it, this isn’t embarrassing at all…it’s hilarious!

It does warrant mentioning, though, that technically my version of the song can’t really be called a “Prince cover,” as I specifically covered Sinéad O’Connor’s cover of the song…even keeping her changes to the lyrics to prove it.

Oh well.  What can you do?

For a good 2 months now, I’ve been telling everyone I know to buy gold and silver while it was low.  I’ve been putting every extra dime into precious metals since then and have started a fairly decent collection myself.  On Friday, I had the chance to spend another couple hundred on the stuff.  I went down to the coin store and came so very close to buying a Swiss 20 Frank gold piece, but at the last minute decided not to.

After the weekend was over, I discovered that Autumn and I were flat broke, having blown all of our money on liquor, strippers and sex toys (for reasons I’ll not go into here).  This left me with nothing to invest and of course, as the Dow plummeted these past few days, metals went back on the upswing.  Gold went up by over 10% and silver by more than 15%!  I may have missed out on my last chance to pick up gold at $750 an ounce, it seems.

But, don’t get me wrong…

…it was worth it.

CNN has apparently decided to try the FOX News approach to journalism for awhile.  One of their Top Ten Most Read stories yesterday was a piece about how Megan Fox once had a crush on a stripper.  Now…I’m not saying that Megan Fox’s desire to ”get pounded by a hot stripper with a strap-on” [sic?] isn’t of interest to me.  It’s just that I don’t think CNN is the place for this information to be relayed to me.

Pro journalism tip:  If your story doesn’t actually affect anyone in the world in any tangible way…it’s not news.

Sure…Back in Black isn’t exactly the toughest song in the world, but it’s still awesome to watch Matt Mahaffey rock it out live and solo:

It was so nice of the corn industry to start a media campaign to enlighten the country about the lies being propagated about corn syrup.  As it turns out, high fructose corn syrup is no worse for us than regular old sugar, and we were just suckers for thinking otherwise!

You can really believe this website, too.  Unlike all those anti-corn naysayers, these people actually know what they’re talking about.  After all, they grow and sell the stuff!  Also, they have statistics from the US Government to back them up.  If that doesn’t say “trustworthy,” nothing does!

That leads me to a thought, though.  Since we live in a country that supposedly believes in the free market…why don’t we stop subsidizing corn farmers?  Since their product is apparently so fucking great, and since their new website claims that “U.S. food manufacturers’ continued use of high fructose corn syrup is based on the benefits it provides rather than its price relative to sugar,” I suppose there’s no reason for the government to continue artificially keeping the price low?  I’m certain that everyone would see the glorious benefits of high fructose corn syrup and continue choosing it over sugar, even if the price went up.  Right?

Last Saturday at 3:00 am, Autumn and I decided to visit someone we know who works as a dancer at Centerfolds Show Club.  Autumn has known this girl for awhile, but I had really only met her once or twice.  Halfway through an awesome lapdance, this friend of ours was rubbing her breasts all over my face when I (in a moment of drunken, turned-on decision making) decided to lick her.  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure she even noticed, but I still feel kind of bad about it in retrospect.  I was just a disrespectful thing to do, wasn’t it?  I shouldn’t be licking strippers, whether I’ve met them a few times or not.  She was just there trying to do her job, and I had to go and break the cardinal rule of strip club patronage:  Keep your hands (and assumably tongue) to yourself.

Maybe I should apologize…

They say that Marcus Licinius Crassus, a Roman general way back in something B.C., was tortured and killed through method of molten gold poured down his throat.  Now, I can’t really find anything that supports this legend as being true, but nonetheless, I think we ought to bring it back (for the first time).

If politicians had to worry about being goldthroated when they did something terrible, maybe they’d stop being such evil douchebags…

Oh yeah…I keep forgetting to mention this.  Autumn and I got a dog.  He’s a retired racing greyhound and his name is Dynamite.