Mar 25
Hillary Clinton talks really fast, and never lies.
Last week Hillary Clinton recounted a harrowing tale for reporters about her trip to Bosnia back when she was First Lady. In this account, she claimed, “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles.” Sounds terrifying.
In the days that followed, though, video and eyewitness accounts surfaced that somewhat contradicted her account. As it turns out, there were no snipers, and Hillary walked casually from the plane to the (supposedly non-existent) greeting ceremony where an 8-year-old girl recited a poem to her. I don’t want to call Hillary Clinton a liar, though. I mean…a few years after bending down to kiss a little girl on the cheek, who’s to say that someone couldn’t misremember themselves as fleeing from sniper-fire while heads explode all around them?
Take a look…the similarities between the two scenarios are eerie:
After being confronted about her version of these events, Hillary assured the media that she didn’t intend to exaggerate so much about them. “I say a lot of things…millions of words a day. So if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement.”
Well, there you go. Hillary Clinton didn’t lie or exaggerate. She just got confused for a second because she speaks MILLIONS OF WORDS A DAY!!! See? Hillary isn’t prone to hyperbole at all!
For fun, I did the math on her statement and discovered that Hillary Clinton speaks at an average of 23 words per second! This, however, assumes that she never sleeps and talks literally 100% of the time, so the real average is probably even higher! Can you honestly tell me that someone so talented doesn’t deserve to be president?
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You realize what this means dont you. Hillary Clinton is an alien. She speaks millions of words non stop that we cant hear but the aliens can. She is trying to become president to take over the world! Of course she wasnt always an alien. Her soul died many years ago when bill was didling Monica and thats when the aliens saw their chance and they took over her body. Just look at that picture of that little girl. The reason she told the story is because she actually ate that girl. So she made up a lie to cover it. On another note did you see that Barak called his grandma a “typical white woman” because she is afraid to walk past a black man on the street at night. Seriously though why the fuck are any of these people going to be our president. They all suck ass!