Certeza sent us a blanket for the baby.  Apparently when given the option to add a personal gift message, he chose the following:

BABIES ARGHHEGHSHHDFHEFHEHSFFHESKJFHFHFEHSEHFYYRYYRAYYAWYRYWRYYAYYRYRYYRYARYARYYYYYREYRYKJYYYRYHHAH HAHAH A HRRRRYYYGGGHGYGYGYHGHGHHGHHHEYYYGHGHHG

I’m not sure if it gets any more awesome than that.  Thanks John.

I’ve watched this video at least a dozen times since I discovered it two weeks ago and it never fails to make me giggle out loud. I finally decided it was time to pass this joy along to the viewers of my website (all two of you).

Source: Break.com

While Dewey passed away a couple of years back, I just now stumbled upon the story of Dewey, the library cat.  When Dewey was left in the book return one night, library employees decided to adopt him.  He lived until the ripe old age of 19; during those years he ”worked” for the Spencer Library with the following job description:

1. Reducing stress for all humans who pay attention to him.
2. Sitting by the front door every morning at 9:00 am to greet the public as they enter the library.
3. Sampling all boxes that enter the library for security problems and comfort level.
4. Attending all meetings in the Round Room as official library ambassador.
5. Providing comic relief for staff and visitors whenever possible.
6. Climbing in book bags and briefcases while patrons are studying or trying to retrieve needed papers underneath him.
7. Generating free national and world-wide publicity for Spencer Public Library. (This entails sitting still for photographs, smiling for the camera, and generally being cute.)
8. Working toward status as world’s most finicky cat by refusing all but the most expensive, delectable foods—and even turning up his nose at those most of the time.

I’m surprised, but delighted, that they were able to get away with this for all that time without some whiny bitch complaining that this violated the rights of library-goers who are allergic to cats.  Good for you, Spencer Library.  I wish my local library had a cat hanging out.  Who knows?  Then I might actually go there and pay my late fees.

After completing my order at the McDonald’s drive-through this morning, the lady at the other end of the speaker said to me, “Good job, sir.  That’ll be $9.86.”  Accent on the “job.”  Good job, sir.

“Good job?” I thought to myself.  At first, I waved off the non sequitur as a simple misstatement…something akin to replying, “You, too!” when the pizza delivery driver tells you to enjoy your meal.  However, as I drove around the building, I began to wonder.  Maybe, just maybe, I had displayed some unusually high aptitude for drive-through ordering.  I had, after all, been quick, decisive and polite…all in all, a fairly good showing.

Alas, my suspicions were confirmed when I reached Window #1.  As I held out my debit card, she handed me a large stack of coupons for free breakfast sandwiches (with purchase of a McCafe item, of course).  There were about 20 coupons there.  I can only assume that they must be my reward.  A prize, if you will, for excellence in the field of McMuffin ordering!

I’d like to thank all the little people…

Sure, the title of this YouTube video sounds like some kind of furry porn, but instead it’s the most amazing stop-motion art I’ve ever seen.  Sure, it maybe doesn’t have the polish of a real production (it’s obviously homemade), but the amazement comes from it’s sheer brilliance and creativity.

Somebody give this guy a full length motion picture script and let him animate it just like this!

Recently, a friend at work pointed out how unintentionally hilarious my previous post ended up being.  After assuring visitors that I would soon upload the Beard Watch photos, the site remained dormant for almost 7 weeks (broken promise emblazoned across the main page and everything).  Well, in case anyone is still interested in seeing the final results, the rest of the set has finally been uploaded.

Whenever I find a site like mine on the internet, one that has mysteriously ceased all updates for no apparent reason, I always find myself wondering if something horrible has happened to the webmaster.  The most recent example:  Autumn and I briefly considered doing the Master Cleanse, a lemonade fast which would have supposedly detoxified our bodies and made us feel “so much better.”  We eventually decided against it, but while researching, we stumbled across a blog called, “Surviving the Master Cleanse.”  The newest post was titled “Day 2″ and essentially chronicled just how difficult the author had found the cleanse to have been up to that point.  This had been posted a week prior, though, with nothing since.  My first thought?  “That guy is fucking dead!  He has to be!”

Well, I’m sure he’s not dead.  Two days of cleansing is hardly enough to kill a guy, I would think.  I suppose we all have our reasons for abandoning our sites on occasion (I’ll get into mine a bit more in the coming weeks).

Still.  It makes you wonder.

Just heard about the new text service ChaCha (242242).  It’s a “free” service (standard messaging rates apply) with operators standing by to answer whatever question your heart desires.  Of course, I had to ask a good question to test this thing out:  “Where can I find the best donkey shows?”

This is the response I got back:  “Tiajuana, Mexico is said to be a popular place for donkey shows. Happy Holidays and keep doing the Cha Cha!”

Technically, I don’t think Tijuana is the best place for donkey shows, so they didn’t really answer the question correctly.  Their wording is technically accurate, though, so I suppose we can let it slide.  Feel free to post your best ChaCha Q&A sessions below…

Autumn and I recently got an XBox 360, by the way, so if any of the visitors out there happen to play Grand Theft Auto IV, Rock Band 2 or Aegis Wing…feel free to say, “Hi,” on Live.  Gamertag:  Everythings OK

(The real motivation for this post?  I had to get the old “Beard Watch” post off the main page because it was clashing with the “most recent beard” image.  Sadly, this was all I could think to say tonight…)

Every episode of South Park ever…available free online?  Awesome:  http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/

Last night I discovered that my crappy old cover of Nothing Compares 2 U (from my first album…available free/now/here!) had somehow ended up on a “blog” post celebrating the 50th birthdays of Madonna, Michael Jackson and Prince.  I have no idea where these people found my version, but they jammed it straight into a list of 49 other Prince covers.  The part that sucks?  The list is full of well-produced, nice-sounding songs by actual accomplished artists:  Damien Rice, Sex Mob, Foo Fighters, Beck, etc…and then “cutaia.”

Interestingly enough, the out of place lack of capitalization in my name indicates that they at least spent a little time at my site, so it seems that they would have noticed that I’m not famous enough for their readers to care about.  In a way, it’s slightly embarrassing.  I imagine people going through the list, rocking out and such, only to suddenly find themselves in a full on lo-fi assault by one of the first songs I ever recorded.  Actually, now that I think about it, this isn’t embarrassing at all…it’s hilarious!

It does warrant mentioning, though, that technically my version of the song can’t really be called a “Prince cover,” as I specifically covered Sinéad O’Connor’s cover of the song…even keeping her changes to the lyrics to prove it.

Oh well.  What can you do?