In regards to my recent post about the Maxim story…

I realize that Amy Winehouse actually is pretty hideous, as referenced by pictures like this:

It took me quite some time just to find a picture of her that wasn’t terrible for that Blort.  But my point still stands about Maxim being written by douchebags.

Sea life is generally pretty scary anyway, but just look at these giant starfish they found in the Antarctic waters of New Zealand.  They look like they’re on steroids:

More beautiful, but still pretty creepy, are these meter tall tunicates, which look like living glass flowers:

Source:  http://news.mongabay.com/2008/0321-antarctica.html

In their latest issue, the douchebags at Maxim magazine released an article counting down their choices for the top 5 “unsexiest” women.  The list looked like this:

#5: Britney Spears

#4: Madonna

#3: Sandra Oh

#2: Amy Winehouse

And finally, the #1 “unsexiest” woman alive:  Sarah Jessica Parker

Many people claim that our culture’s obsession with beauty somehow creates an unattainable goal for young girls to reach.  They like to portray Hollywood as being involved in some secret conspiracy designed to create eating disorders.  I’ve never really agreed with that, though.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with celebrities being pretty, and seeing this beauty shouldn’t hurt anyone’s self esteem.

However, something seems altogether different about this crap.  Look…these girls aren’t exactly my cup of tea, either…but to say that these women are the unsexiest women possible?  First off, it’s incredibly mean-spirited towards the women targeted.  Worse, though, is that Maxim is basically telling girls everywhere that by attaining even these levels of sexiness, you are still just some hideous piece of shit who deserves to be insulted and mocked.

This one list seems like it could cause more damage to the self esteem of girls everywhere, than any issue of Cosmo ever did.  Fortunately, most women are too smart to read the mindless drivel they print in Maxim.

Note:  I haven’t actually read the article, and am therefore relying only on the media’s interpretation as a main source.  If the article was some obvious parody, April Fool’s joke, or any other less-than-evil thing that is simply being taken out of context, please correct me.

Autumn’s stolen car was found in some alley by the Denver police.  Today, we stopped by the salvage yard to grab some things and say goodbye.  I also took a few pictures for posterity.

In this shot, the sad sight of her partially stripped car didn’t stop the sky from looking terrific: 

The hood and front fenders were taken, as well as the battery:

Here lie the remains of the brand new fucking ignition we had recently been forced to install…

They also took the radio, even though there was no faceplate.  I’m guessing this one was just out of spite.

As long as you’re stealing cars, might as well fuck up the interior, too…right?

They also bent back the license plate for some reason.  Is this somehow less suspicious when driving a stolen car?  Note that the Everything’s OK and Ron Paul stickers are still in perfect condition.

A salon owner in Boulder who regularly dyes her poodle pink using organic beet juice recently found herself in trouble with the law.  She does it to raise awareness for breast cancer, she says.  The way it works is that customers generally ask about the pink dog, which gives her an opening to talk about her cause.  This sometimes leads them to donate to cancer research funds, or even attend events like Race for the Cure.  Of course, the hippy-like nature of this promotion is very Boulder-ish, all the way down to the beet juice being organic.

Unfortunately, there is another thing that can be found rather readily in Boulder:  Whiny little bitches who feel that the government should stop other people from doing harmless activities that offend them.

That’s right.  Some people actually decided to call the Humane Society and complain about this little fundraising dog.  While the director of the aforementioned Society agrees that the dog is well-cared for, they still wrote a $1,000 ticket for the offense because it violates a city ordinance that outlaws the dying of animals (of course…this isn’t the first time the Humane Society of Boulder has considered levying thousand dollar fines in the supposed interest of animal welfare).

The fact is, this is absolutely fucking stupid and I don’t see how anyone can see otherwise.  Putting juice on a dog is not cruelty in any way shape or form.  It is an absolute shame that someone who is simply trying to raise money for cancer research would be subjected to such an incredibly huge fine simply because of the will of a vocal and idiotic minority.  Perhaps the most frightening part of the story to me, though, is the poll seen by clicking the above link.  It shows that 13.6% of people who voted, actually agreed that she should be fined.  Well, to that 13.6% of society:  I hope you get cancer…and then have $1,000 stolen from you.  Fuckers.

Seriously…it takes balls for a candy company to design and market a product that is so very obviously flawed.  Chocolate Skittles…what a bad idea!  But here they are in my hand, and you’ve gotta admire that.

In case you’re too sensible afraid to experiment, I’ve provided the following write-up of what each flavor is like.  Enjoy:

• S’mores - Ass
• Chocolate Pudding - Ass
• Chocolate Caramel - Ass
• Vanilla - Ass
• Brownie Batter - Tootsie Roll

Someone left this on our door Thursday morning, which leads me to the following question:  What the shit?

 Just look at the signatures on the back.  These are real grown-up names and handwriting:

I’m usually not a big fan of political correctness (in fact, it’s always sounded like a bit of an oxymoron to me), but…I have to say that I noticed a difference between CNN and FOX News the other day in that respect.  Now…don’t get me wrong:  CNN is certainly biased and evil in its own ways.  But at least they generally try to have a little more class than FOX News.  Take the following headlines for the same story, for example:

CNN:

FOX News:

Jesus…for once I agree with Huckabee, who threw up his arms at the debate tonight as if to say, “What the fucking hell?!?!?!”  This was in response to the horribly blatant bias that CNN displayed throughout the debate, focusing all of their questions towards McCain and Romney, while all but ignoring the other candidates.

I still hate him, but the more I hear him stealing ideas from Ron Paul, the more I would at least prefer him over the other two assholes.  Here me now:  John McCain and Mitt Romney are some of the biggest douchebags since George W. Bush himself.

This crap is still getting ever more ridiculous.  There have only been 5 candidates in the Republican race since the 22nd, but for some reason CNN’s political market decided to run this poll:

Even though Ron Paul is the only “other” candidate, they decided to give the fifth option to “OTHER” instead of going through the pain of actually typing his name for once.

The best part is that “Paul” is the only name that would have actually fit within the 5 character limit.