…and has been for awhile.  On September 22nd, I watched Autumn pull the temporary stent out of her urethra.  It was…pretty interesting.  I doubt that Autumn will let me put the video online, but here’s a picture of the stent itself at least.

Remember to keep your kidneys healthy (and to donate to the National Kidney Foundation).

I know, I know.  National Online Kidney Stone Awareness Month seems to have been going on for at least twice that.  Maybe even more.  But it’s almost over!

After working her way through the bureaucratic nightmare that is the American Healthcare System (and in fact even “moving to Denver” to qualify for the “non-emergency surgery” that she needed to “not lose her kidney”), Autumn is finally stone free!  Gifts of congratulations can be sent to PO Box 462006, Aurora, CO, 80046, c/o Brian Cutaia.

Anyway…there’s only one last tiny detail to be tended to.  After the surgery, the doctors had to insert one final stent into Autumn’s ureter.  She had the option to either have the stent removed later in one last operation, OR receive a stent with a string attached…one which she would need to pull out herself a few days later.  So, needless to say, she currently has a string hanging out of her urethra.  Monday night, we’re gonna get her really drunk and yank that sucker out.  Basically, my girlfriend is a badass.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

In honor of NOKSAM, here’s a recipe for what appears to be a delicious kidney bean soup!

From Group Recipes:

This dish is wonderful on a cold winter day! Make sure to have some crusty bread for this! This makes great leftovers. Add water when you cook this the second round!

Prep-time: 25m / Cook-time: 115m / Servings: 8

• 3 regular pork chops
• 3 sliced carrots
• 3 coarsely chopped celery ribs
• 1 cup canned whole tomatoes, chopped
• 1 coarsely chopped onion
• 2 regular cans kidney beans
• 2 potatoes, chopped in bite-size pieces
• 2 cubes beef bouillon cube
• freshly ground salt

Directions:

1. Over medium heat, add meat, carrots, celery and tomatoes to a large pot of water.
2. Bring to a rolling boil, reduce to a simmer for 90 min.
3. In a separate pan, fry pork chops, until brown.
4. In your soup pot, add the kidney beans (don’t drain the liquid), potatoes and onions.
5. This will cook until the potatoes are tender (20 min.)
6. Add the bouillon, simmer for around 5 minutes. Add salt and pepper.
7. Enjoy!

Well, Autumn’s kidney stone may suck a lot…but at least she doesn’t need her kidney removed:

I just learned that 2 and a half years ago, William Shatner sold a kidney stone he had passed for $20,000.

Anyone want Autumn’s stone?  I’ll start the bidding at a mere 500 bucks.  Come on, people…we’ve got medical bills to pay!

In honor of NOKSAM, I’ve tracked down a website called I Heart Guts.  These guys sell adorable little plush organs like this kidney:

They even have MySpace pages available for each organ.  My favorite “About Me” quote of all time comes from Plush Kidney’s page:  “I make pee for you!!”

The one thing I don’t understand on the site, though, is a get well e-card for the uterus that says, “Sorry about that miscarriage.  It really sucks, but now you can drink.”  Something tells me that card isn’t gonna cheer anybody up.

In case you thought I might forget about this whole “kidney stone awareness” thing once Autumn’s problem had been resolved…fear not.  It appears that National Online Kidney Stone Awareness Month will be over before Autumn is finally completely through with all of this crap (unfortunately for her).

Yes, they got the stent put in today.  The part I didn’t completely understand beforehand, though, was that we now just wait.  She won’t go back for Extracorporeal Shock Wave Therapy until August 11th.  Two days later she’ll go back to have the stent removed.  In the meantime, it’s still not likely that the stone will pass on its own.  The stent, however, will allow the fluids to pass through.  It will also supposedly keep the pain down to a minimum.

It still sucks, though.  I wish she didn’t have to put up with any amount of pain for the next month.  At least she’ll have plenty of drugs to take in the meantime.

As planned, I called the urologist this morning, but they basically told me that it would take around a week to get any procedures done.  This wasn’t acceptable considering the amount of pain Autumn had endured all weekend.  Fortunately, they were kind enough to refer me to another urologist with an onsite lithotriptor who might be able to get it done faster.  Those guys, however, told me that without insurance, the cost of the procedure would be thousands of dollars.  Fortunately, they were kind enough to refer me to Denver Health, who’s mission statement includes the desire to “provide access to the highest quality health care, whether for prevention, or acute and chronic diseases regardless of ability to pay.”  Now, that’s my kind of hospital!

Anyway, we headed over to Denver Health’s ER before being sent to their Adult Urgent Care Clinic (which is kind of like ER Jr.).  The people there shot Demerol into Autumn’s asscheek and began the process of trying to get our medical records from the Aurora Medical Center.  Aurora gave them the write-up of the problem, but for some reason couldn’t seem to pony up the CT scans.  Since Denver Health (who can technically only admit non-Denver residents in the event of an emergency) wanted to ensure that her stone really was 7mm and urgent, they decided to just go ahead and do their own cat scan.

The scan showed something interesting and sucky.  The contrast dye that Autumn had swallowed Saturday morning, was still very much in her right kidney, meaning two things:  1) The stone itself cannot be exactly located within that bright white mess. 2) The stone is definitely blocking off the ureter, effectively stopping that kidney from working.

Tomorrow morning, the doctors will be placing a stent, which is essentially a long wire mesh tube that can be inflated to make the ureter bigger.  This will allow the stone to pass through and will also possibly allow them to use shock waves to obliterate the little fucker on the spot.  I’m not worried in the slightest that anything is going to happen to Autumn;  she’ll be just fine.  However, she’s never been in the hospital or undergone any kind of procedure like this and I know she’s very scared.  I absolutely hated leaving her there alone tonight.  I really wish I could be there tomorrow morning, too, but I unfortunately must return to work.

The people at Denver Health, however, have treated her amazingly well so far.  Currently, she is sitting in the 8th floor of the hospital in a private room.  I’m almost certain that the view from her window is the best one you can get in this town.  The entire Denver skyline is illuminated for her tonight.

Random knowledge gleaned from the internet about how to keep your kidneys healthy and (hopefully) stone-free:

You’ll want to avoid excess sodium intake, as well as too much soda.  Fluids are essential; drinking plenty of water each day will help prevent stones.  It’s also said that cranberry juice is helpful in aiding kidney health.

More information on kidney stones (and how to treat or prevent them) can be found here.

We’re heading to the urologist tomorrow morning as early as we possibly can.  The bad news?  Autumn is sans-insurance and we don’t have any cash or an appointment.  I’m really hoping these people are gonna cut us some slack and hook us up with a little extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy, anyway.  See, Autumn’s stone is currently still in the ureter, en route to the bladder.  Unfortunately, the trip through this tube is the excruciatingly painful part of the kidney stone process, so it has left Autumn screaming in pain for half the day.

Even worse…since her stone is 7mm in diameter, it’s pretty much never going to make it to the bladder on its own.  It’s just gonna be stuck in there until we can see the specialist.  Slightly smaller stones of 1-5mm can generally just pass by themselves, so we really got unlucky with this one.

It sucks a lot.  I’m pretty much helpless to do anything at this point.  I’ll certainly keep you updated as things progress.