This story from the Telegraph about a joke made by George Bush at the G8 summit, is so outlandish by itself, that I can’t even think of anything to add to it!  Here are a few paragraphs from the original story, instead:

The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”

He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.

Ok…I came up with something:  Polluter, Idiot, Douchebag.  There were so many punchlines to choose from.

Regardless of my feelings on the subject, I can certainly understand why the Obama campaign might not appreciate the recent New Yorker cover.

From the Lew Rockwell Blog today:

No one would do such a cover of McCain, playing into the most damaging rumors, but imagine this: a jaunty young John, in his pilot uniform, sitting comfortably and chatting with his Vietnamese captors. Two gorgeous gals serve his every wish. He is smoking a cigar and drinking a martini. In the next room other POWs are being intensively interrogated. Ha ha, Republicans?

Well, Lew…that’s a good point.  Taking your cue, I asked Jeremy Glass to draw a little something up, so we could all see what that would look like.  Personally, I think we’ve got a masterpiece on our hands, but I’m certain McCain would disagree.

[click picture to enlarge]

Florida Democrats are up in arms about Mike Meehan and his silly-ass billboard:

As you can see, it has a nice little picture of the World Trade Center on fire and implores, “Please Don’t Vote for a Democrat.”  It then links to his website which contains a crappy little song (almost as bad as the anti-inBev Budweiser anthem, Kiss Our Glass) called, “Please Don’t Vote for a Democrat.”  Here’s a verse for ya’:

Republicans, we’re not perfect but we know the truth
We uphold the Constitution and the Golden Rule.
We believe a mans [sic] freedom is a God given right,
the USA is the beacon to the whole world in sight.

This guy either wrote this song in 1792, or hasn’t been paying attention for the past 8 years.  Our Republican president has over and over again shown his absolute disregard for the “Constitution and the Golden Rule.”  Also, they’ve made it pretty clear that they don’t really believe that freedom is a God given right.  Why, for example, do we think it’s OK to send people to Guantanamo Bay to have their rights completely trampled upon?  “Because the Constitution only gives rights to Americans in America!”  See?  Rights aren’t God given…they are only for Americans!  Of course, the moment something bad happens, it’s time to start taking away our rights, too.  In the eyes of the GOP, freedom is something for the government to dole out only to those they see fit.

But then, the guy shows how completely ignorant he is through more lyrics and quotes:

No we can’t afford to have another attack,
Oh no, please don’t vote for a Democrat.

and:

“You got to remember all the … people that George Bush did catch and how much success he did have.  And we haven’t had an attack on this soil since 9/11″

I mean…wow.  I’ve always wondered what kind of people were still seriously sporting their “W” stickers from 2000.

The best part of the story, though, was that his message was so completely out there, that even the Republicans were like, “Oh, hell no!”  They immediately distanced themselves from his website and message (probably realizing that pretty much everyone understands that the neoconservative war against the world isn’t really helping us).

What’s the big freakin’ deal?

Media outlets everywhere are declaring their outrage over this New Yorker cover, which depicts Barack Obama dressed as a Muslim, his wife in militant garb, a flag burning in the fireplace and a picture of Osama Bin Laden hanging on the wall.  More subtly, the two are giving each other a “terrorist fist jab” as FOX news likes to call it.

Which brings me to the point:  The media has regularly helped push all of these rumors through their sensationalist reporting of trivialities.  If these supposedly respectable news organizations had avoided giving so much airtime to such idiotic allegations, perhaps so many people wouldn’t have been inclined to believe them when they saw them in their inboxes.  But these same fucking people in the media are absolutely freaking out about how “irresponsible” this cover is.  Of course, the story inside the magazine is actually about the way this smear-machine has helped wrongly perpetuate the rumors illustrated on the cover.

If the New Yorker was irresponsible, it’s only because the majority of Americans who already believe these rumors are too stupid to actually read the article.  But then…what’s the real damage caused in that case?  A bunch of morons continue being morons because they literally judge a book by its cover?

In any case, the cartoon has inadvertently (or with brilliant foresight?) done exactly what it was supposed to do.  In the end, the insanely huge amount of backlash has pushed their message (along with an explanation of their intent) in front of every news camera in the fucking nation.  The New Yorker has done more to point out what a terrorist Obama isn’t than anyone yet.

McCain won’t know if you blog (or if I Blort™) about what an economically ignorant, completely insane, peanut-headed maniac he is.  He doesn’t know how to use the internet.

You can add this to the growing list of things he hasn’t kept up with the times on, along with “not calling Asian people ‘gooks’.”

Media outlets in Iran indicate that its president, as well as several top-level government employees, have stated that they are unwilling to rule out a nuclear strike against America.  More disturbing is the footage of an Iranian presidential candidate gleefully singing during a campaign stop (to applause and laughter) about bombing the United States.

Wait…nevermind.  I get confused sometimes.  It’s actually the opposite.  We’re the ones doing that stuff.  Funny, though, to think of the reaction it would illicit if the tables were turned.

Is it really any wonder that Iran decided to inform us that they would retaliate in the event of an attack?  Our leaders are so comfortable with the thought of a preemptive strike that they have no problem throwing around completely idiotic questions like, “Should we nuke Iran?”  It’s almost as if people neither care nor understand exactly what a nuclear explosion entails.  If we’re willing to casually throw around the idea of that kind of mass death and destruction, it certainly makes me wonder who the real terrorists are.  Of course, according to the horrible FOX News, Iran is actually just starting some random shit here.  Their headline for the story is Iran Begins War Game With Warning to U.S., Israel (and FOX…don’t forget to remind your readers about the time some tiny Iranian speedboats “threatened” our giant warships!).  So, let me get this straight.  When a sovereign nation informs an aggressive country (who is constantly making threats and invading other countries) that they will defend themselves if attacked first…they are “beginning war games?”

We’re constantly making threats against millions of innocent lives over the possibility that Iran’s nuclear program isn’t just about power like they claim.  What if it is, though?  Hell…even if Iran really did build a nuclear weapon, how would that affect America?  Any missile coming from Iran would likely be shot down over the ocean.  Following that, we really would decimate them (and if they had actually attacked us…I’d be all for it).  So what are we so worried about, anyway?

An atheist soldier is suing the Army for allegedly discriminating against non-believers like himself.  I’m not sure I would normally take one man’s word for it in a case like this, but it’s somewhat more convincing that he is suing only for the rights of future soldiers (as opposed to some frivolous monetary amount).

It also reminds me of a particularly disturbing sentiment expressed by the previous Chief of Operations at my job…one which almost seems to substantiate the charge a bit in my mind. During his very first speech to the employees, he proudly informed us all that he was a military man and said that for many months he had been “in Iraq, doing the Lord’s work.”  Somehow I don’t think he was referring to a missionary effort.

Who would make such an obviously divisive statement on their first day of leading a company? You want to tell us about your leadership background…fine. Your belief that Jesus loves it when we kill Iraqis? Keep that the hell to yourself.  Of course, that’s not the only time I’ve heard wartime military service described as “doing the Lord’s work.” It really makes you wonder what Bible some of these people are reading…

This isn’t really that new, though.  Take a look at Mark Twain’s War Prayer, written in response to the US invasion of the Philippines (1898-1902):

“O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle – be Thou near them! With them – in spirit – we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it – for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.”

Oklahoma recently passed a resolution (by a huge margin) declaring it’s sovereignty under the 10th amendment.  How do we get Colorado to follow suit?  Here’s the text of the resolution:

STATE OF OKLAHOMA
2nd Session of the 51st Legislature (2008)
HOUSE JOINT
RESOLUTION 1089 By: Key

AS INTRODUCED
A Joint Resolution claiming sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over certain powers; serving notice to the federal government to cease and desist certain mandates; and directing distribution.

WHEREAS, the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States reads as follows: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”; and
WHEREAS, the Tenth Amendment defines the total scope of federal power as being that specifically granted by the Constitution of the United States and no more; and
WHEREAS, the scope of power defined by the Tenth Amendment means that the federal government was created by the states specifically to be an agent of the states; and
WHEREAS, today, in 2008, the states are demonstrably treated as agents of the federal government; and
WHEREAS, many federal mandates are directly in violation of the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States; and
WHEREAS, the United States Supreme Court has ruled in New York v. United States, 112 S. Ct. 2408 (1992), that Congress may not simply commandeer the legislative and regulatory processes of the states; and
WHEREAS, a number of proposals from previous administrations and some now pending from the present administration and from Congress may further violate the Constitution of the United States.

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AND THE SENATE OF THE 2ND SESSION OF THE 51ST OKLAHOMA LEGISLATURE:

THAT the State of Oklahoma hereby claims sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over all powers not otherwise enumerated and granted to the federal government by the Constitution of the United States.
THAT this serve as Notice and Demand to the federal government, as our agent, to cease and desist, effective immediately, mandates that are beyond the scope of these constitutionally delegated powers.
THAT a copy of this resolution be distributed to the President of the United States, the President of the United States Senate, the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, the Speaker of the House and the President of the Senate of each state’s legislature of the United States of America, and each member of the Oklahoma Congressional Delegation.

http://www.okhouse.gov/51LEG/Leg_Votesxx.aspx?include=okh01983.txt

http://www.ok-safe.com/files/documents/1/HJR1089_int.pdf

Google Ads is currently advertising John McCain on my site.  Hilarious, though, that the presumed nominee still has so much convincing to do.

Anyway, I must need to qualify his name every time I write it to avoid this situation:  John McCain…sucks mad cock.

A week or so ago, I received an automated phone call directed at state and congressional district delegates.  It asked only 2 questions, one of which was, “If you were to vote today, which of the following would you vote for:  1) John McCain; 2) Mitt Romney; 3) Mike Huckabee; 4) Ron Paul.”  The inclusion of the neoconservatives’ arch enemy, Ron Paul, made me wonder about the nature of the call.  I certainly wouldn’t put it past the GOP to try and flush out Paul supporters amongst the delegates.  To be safe, I punched in number one (”Yes, sir.  I love John McCain…let’s kill some goddamned Iraqis!”)

I didn’t realize the connection when I received an e-mail informing me that I had been removed from the Ron Paul Delegates meetup group.

Later on Mike Toles told me that I had actually been called by our group’s auto-dialer.  My answer had immediately red-flagged me as some kind of infiltrator.  He discovered this after mentioning my name to the organizer, who responded, “Don’t trust that guy…he’s a McCain supporter!”  Fortunately, he explained the story to her (which I had previously told him about) and brought me back into the circle of trust.

I wish politics weren’t so complicated…

Anyway…tomorrow’s the big day.  Congressional District 6.  I’ll let you know how it goes.