I’m strongly considering an educational protest directed at the incompetent parents who drive their kids to the school near my condo each morning.  I’m sick of starting my commute by waiting in a huge line of confused people who treat an empty crosswalk as a stop sign.  Do you think this is too much for a picket sign?

“This is a crosswalk.  You only have to stop when children are crossing the road.  The person turning left does not have the right of way.  Go.”

Perhaps I could just hand out Colorado driver’s manuals like flyers.

Another problem is that these same drivers suddenly start hating their brakes the second someone actually does step foot in the street.  The students, fully aware of this fact and rightly scared for their lives, end up carefully gauging the situation for several seconds before ever deciding to cross.  By the time they do, some asshole SUV mom will surely get tired of waiting and cut off the pedestrian (which starts the whole tiresome social stall all over again).

November 1st, 2008.

It’s coming…

I forgot to mention this, but on October 14th, this website turned 4 years old.  Whoo…

I just took a shit and it smelled remarkably like Marijuana.

Looking around the city, you’ll see Obama’s trendy little bumper stickers everywhere.  One thing I hardly ever see, though, is someone advertising McCain.  No, his supporters are far more likely to plaster a snarky “NOBAMA” sticker on their cars.

Really, though, it’s as if McCain supporters have subconsciously conceded, “Look…we know our candidate sucks, but you don’t want Obama, do you???”  That’s all McCain is, though, isn’t he?  A write in vote for “Not Democrat.”  Perhaps the Republicans should have thought of this a long time ago and nominated someone good.

In any case, I can certainly agree with the sentiment.  I, too, want Nobama for president.  I also want, um…let’s say…McCain’t?

For a good 2 months now, I’ve been telling everyone I know to buy gold and silver while it was low.  I’ve been putting every extra dime into precious metals since then and have started a fairly decent collection myself.  On Friday, I had the chance to spend another couple hundred on the stuff.  I went down to the coin store and came so very close to buying a Swiss 20 Frank gold piece, but at the last minute decided not to.

After the weekend was over, I discovered that Autumn and I were flat broke, having blown all of our money on liquor, strippers and sex toys (for reasons I’ll not go into here).  This left me with nothing to invest and of course, as the Dow plummeted these past few days, metals went back on the upswing.  Gold went up by over 10% and silver by more than 15%!  I may have missed out on my last chance to pick up gold at $750 an ounce, it seems.

But, don’t get me wrong…

…it was worth it.

Sure…Back in Black isn’t exactly the toughest song in the world, but it’s still awesome to watch Matt Mahaffey rock it out live and solo:

Last Saturday at 3:00 am, Autumn and I decided to visit someone we know who works as a dancer at Centerfolds Show Club.  Autumn has known this girl for awhile, but I had really only met her once or twice.  Halfway through an awesome lapdance, this friend of ours was rubbing her breasts all over my face when I (in a moment of drunken, turned-on decision making) decided to lick her.  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure she even noticed, but I still feel kind of bad about it in retrospect.  I was just a disrespectful thing to do, wasn’t it?  I shouldn’t be licking strippers, whether I’ve met them a few times or not.  She was just there trying to do her job, and I had to go and break the cardinal rule of strip club patronage:  Keep your hands (and assumably tongue) to yourself.

Maybe I should apologize…

They say that Marcus Licinius Crassus, a Roman general way back in something B.C., was tortured and killed through method of molten gold poured down his throat.  Now, I can’t really find anything that supports this legend as being true, but nonetheless, I think we ought to bring it back (for the first time).

If politicians had to worry about being goldthroated when they did something terrible, maybe they’d stop being such evil douchebags…

My favorite actor, Shia LeBeouf, is in yet another movie:  Eagle Eye.

Shit…maybe I’ll fork out the 30 bucks for Autumn and I to go see this one in theatres…