http://blorts.cutaia.net Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:33:09 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en An incredibly loud and strange conversation between two obvious strangers at the grocery store had several people, including myself, watching and wondering what the hell was going on. "...cottage cheese." "Oh, we're not going there." "What's wrong with cottage cheese?  Put a little pineapple or something on it.  Perfect!" "Nah." "Oh, we wouldn't get along then." "What about a ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2010/overheard-in-the-dairy-section/ While waiting to pay two months worth of electric bills one day (I realized a while back that Xcel's late fee is actually cheaper than King Soopers' charge for processing the transaction each month. Add the extra interest from leaving that money in my bank account for an extra month and ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2010/changing-the-game/ Godwin's Law, as it's called, states:  "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1." When referring to a humorous observation as a law, people tend to take it much more seriously than they should.  Is the adage true?  Well, technically, but no ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2010/on-godwins-law/ Each Slurpee machine out there has 4 to 8 little lights on it...one for each flavor.  The machines always indicate that you should not pour any particular flavor when its light is lit.  Of course, whenever I want a cherry flavored Slurpee, the cherry light is always on.  It never fails. I usually try waiting for a little while, ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2010/the-slurpee-conundrum/ Certeza sent us a blanket for the baby.  Apparently when given the option to add a personal gift message, he chose the following: BABIES ARGHHEGHSHHDFHEFHEHSFFHESKJFHFHFEHSEHFYYRYYRAYYAWYRYWRYYAYYRYRYYRYARYARYYYYYREYRYKJYYYRYHHAH HAHAH A HRRRRYYYGGGHGYGYGYHGHGHHGHHHEYYYGHGHHG I'm not sure if it gets any more awesome than that.  Thanks John. http://blorts.cutaia.net/2009/a-gift-message/ Exact quote from the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, regarding the rough plane landing in Jamaica (emphasis theirs, not mine): Of the 148 passengers and 6 crew members on board, seventy-six were US citizens.  Of those at least 40 were taken to local hospitals with minor injuries.  4 Americans were in serious condition. There ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2009/another-reason-i-hate-the-media/ At 7-11 this morning, I saw a woman standing in the corner of the store, head down, holding a chocolate muffin to her face.  She licked and nibbled away at the top part of the muffin like a squirrel eating an unshelled peanut.  It was very odd. That's all I have ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2009/muffin-licker/ I once had an idea for a video game.  In one of the game's early boss encounters, you would fight just long enough to trigger an event where you become incapacitated.  As it approachd you to finish you off, an unseen helper would suddenly take a carefully aimed head shot from off screen, saving ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2009/the-fall-of-beard-watch/ My website has, once again, lost the top spot in a Google search of the word "cutaia." This time, the victor in the battle for number 1 is some fucking mobster named Domenico Cutaia (or Dominick Cutaia depending on which part of the Wikipedia page you look at...that's right, I'm getting beat by ... http://blorts.cutaia.net/2009/son-of-a-bitch/ I've watched this video at least a dozen times since I discovered it two weeks ago and it never fails to make me giggle out loud. I finally decided it was time to pass this joy along to the viewers of my website (all two of you). Source: Break.com http://blorts.cutaia.net/2009/dumb-cat-cant-figure-out-how-to-drink/