The other day, I looked over at our cat, Jack, to see that he was a bit more…yellow than usual.  For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the hell had happened to him.  I was almost certain, because of the specific yellow shade, that he had somehow been peed on by our dog.

Eventually, though, I did figure out what happened to him.  Feel free to venture a guess in the comments section, before clicking this link for the answer.

I just took a shit and it smelled remarkably like Marijuana.

I died on October 7th, 2007.

At least that’s what my memorial website says.  I discovered memory-of.com last year and out of curiosity, started an account for myself.  I believe it started as an experiment in eulogizing myself, but in the end I couldn’t think of anything to say.  After that, I left my memorial, bare and forgotten.

Forgotten, at least, until the relentless e-mails began.  Death is big business after all and this website proves it.  Sign up for a simple page where loved ones can send their condolences and you’d better be prepared.  For months, I received offers to extend my page’s time on the Internet for a nominal fee.  Or, if that wasn’t permanent enough, I could pay to have the entire thing turned into a physical scrapbook.  They kept telling me that the memorial would be taken down soon, only to have last minute changes of heart.  “We’ve decided to leave up Brian’s memorial for another year at no charge!”

I had almost forgotten about my death again until a couple of weeks ago.  That’s when the “angelversary” e-mail’s began.  (Angelversary?  Really?)  There was one to remind me that the angelversary was coming and another a few days later to offer their sincere condolences.  A third e-mail expressed their hopes that the website had “been a comfort and a source of support” throughout the angelversary.  This last e-mail also took the opportunity to inform me, “Tomorrow is the last day that you can upgrade to a permanent Memorial Website at 25% off.”

We’ve only got a few things left to do really, but here’s a couple of pictures of the place in its nearly done state.  It’s already quite the upgrade from when we moved in.

…and has been for awhile.  On September 22nd, I watched Autumn pull the temporary stent out of her urethra.  It was…pretty interesting.  I doubt that Autumn will let me put the video online, but here’s a picture of the stent itself at least.

Remember to keep your kidneys healthy (and to donate to the National Kidney Foundation).

I rarely see anything in the news these days capable of making me quite as mad as this “editorial” by Rebekah Sanderlin.  It’s a spiteful commentary that essentially accuses all Americans of being lazy, stupid complainers.  She takes the Neoconservative stand to an extreme (that is, patriotism means loving the United States Government and hating the American people).  To truly vent my disgust with this moronic article, I decided to respond to several “points” of hers individually:

The war didn’t change and the fighting force didn’t change, but the people back home are over it. War, it seems, went out of style in 2003.

Yeah, that tends to happen when people begin to realize how unnecessary and never-ending the war in question is.  I suppose we should just support the war for the next thousand years for the sake of style?  Or maybe just to avoid admitting that our country was wrong about something?

In the military community we roll our eyes when we hear that Americans are war weary. Just what, we wonder, are you all weary of? Hearing about the war? Seeing stories in the news? Most Americans don’t even know anyone in the military and won’t have any direct contact with the war besides seeing uniformed soldiers in the airport. You all haven’t been asked to do anything more to support this war than sit back and watch as your tax dollars are spent.

So, the logic here being that anyone who doesn’t personally know a soldier, isn’t allowed or able to have an informed opinion about our country’s actions?  By the way…we haven’t actually been asked to sit back and watch as our tax dollars are spent.  We’ve been forced to sit back and blindly trust the Government and their actions while the whole thing is financed by hyperinflation.

To us, civilian complaints about being war weary sound like the gripes of deadbeat dads: It’s a bummer to hear that things are going badly and you’re sick of being asked to pay for it, but you’re not doing any of the real work yourselves.

Maybe the deadbeat dad analogy would work better like this:  “It’s not your kid, and it’s a bummer to hear that it’s being repeatedly gangraped each night, and you’re sick of being robbed by the rapists, but at least you’re not doing any of the real work yourself!”

It’s not your fault. Nobody has asked you to do anything. Our leaders didn’t think you would be willing to make real sacrifices, so they never bothered to ask. They let you all think that shopping yourselves into debt was patriotic, that spending yourselves into bankruptcy and foreclosure was enough to keep our nation safe.

I’m not sure why the economy even gets mentioned here, but since it did, I might as well point out the fact that all those idiots who bought houses they couldn’t afford were only able to do so because of the Government.  The schmucks in D.C. didn’t just allow people to spend themselves into ruin…they highly encouraged this behavior with their policies.  So, what’s your point, Rebekah?  The Government helped destroy our economy, so they should be allowed to do whatever the hell they want when it comes to foreign policy as well?

You are war weary because futility breeds weariness. When you feel like something is for no good reason and getting nowhere, it’s understandable that you’d be over it. But maybe you wouldn’t be so war weary if you, personally, had a stake in what was happening “over there.”

Oh, I get it…so, I suppose I wouldn’t mind a futile war that isn’t going anywhere if only I had a loved one who could be killed in the futile war that isn’t going anywhere.  Well, I should have Autumn sign up to fight, so I can begin loving perpetual war!

And make no mistake: We are tired. We are stretched thin. Our marriages and our families are collapsing. Our children are emotionally damaged. They act out at school and cry at home. Everyday we wonder if we have the strength for even another day of this. We’re tired from the work, but we’re not weary of the mission.

So far this article has read like this:  “The war is expensive as hell, most of the country is against it, it’s futile and it’s not going anywhere, it’s destroying families and children…now start supporting it you pussies!”

 My husband and I know that this is not his last deployment and we know that his odds of returning home get worse with each trip. The only way our family and other military families will get a break is if more Americans sign up to join the fight. News reports these days are full of stories of lay-offs and the high cost of health care. Well, guess what? There are no pink slips in the military and our excellent health care system is free.

All aboard the Socialism-Express, eh?  You know…without people in this country actually producing goods and services, there would be no taxpayers to pay for your wars of aggression.  Still want everyone to join the army to suck on the teat of the state?

So sign up. We want you. Your nation wants you. And we in the military community need you. My family deserves a break.

Your family deserves a break, huh?  I agree.  Apparently, so does most of the country.  But, I suppose you’re happy to just spend your time publicly insulting all of us for being “lazy,” instead of considering the possibility that we may actually have a principled and intelligent stance against the war.

The only thing that seems to keep this cunt believing in such a terrible war, is her fear that everyone in the middle east wants to destroy America.  Her article, however, is the best possible argument against continued war.  In her warmongering little manifesto, she cites the American lives lost or destroyed…drawing a correlation between personal proximity to these tragedies and willingness to support war.  Well, if a measly 4,000+ lives lost is enough for hordes of neocons like her to eschew all common sense in order to support the war with such fervor…I can only imagine how many potential “terrorists” have been similarly inspired by 100,000-1,000,000* Iraqi deaths.

Congratulations, Rebekah Sanderlin.  You’re bound to get your wish for eternal war, because people like you are ensuring that we’ll never run out of people who would like to see America destroyed.

*The number varies depending on who you ask…but either way, it’s pretty fucking huge.

Every episode of South Park ever…available free online?  Awesome:  http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/

They lie. 

Take this for example.  The biased piece of shit interviewing Ron Paul in the video below decided to present an out of context quote, repeatedly attributing it to Paul himself, saying, “I just went to your website and on the very first page of your website […] here’s what it says.  From your website.”

Now, the jackass initially claims that the quote was from ronpaul.com, which is not Ron Paul’s website.  When Paul tries to correct him, the newscaster interrupts to explain that he meant to say, “ronpaulforpresident2008.com.”  Note:  This is still not Ron Paul’s fucking website.  In fact…the quote that they found didn’t even originate on that website.  It was simply imported from the feed at the Lew Rockwell Blog (again…not Ron Paul’s).  The quote in question began:  “What a heroic day! The people rose up against a coalition of every evil group in America: the central bank, Wall Street plutocrats, politicians, banksters, think tanks (including the pseudo-libertarian sort), big media, big academia, and big business, and won. Today we got a taste of what things may look like when the regime is finally toppled, and its theft and killing stopped.”

This, of course, paints a rather rebellious picture intended to make Paul look dangerous…but it really doesn’t matter when the quote isn’t actually connected to Paul in any real way.

They also neglected to include any of the rest of the post, which included things like, “Our pizza party for Mises’s birthday today took on an especially festive air.”  Pizza party?  Anarchists!  “How sweet to see the CNBC types running around like chickens with their heads cut off.”  Oh, right…that means you.  “Oh, and by the way, congratulations, Ron Paul.”  Now, this would seemingly make it very obvious that the post was not written by Ron Paul, but research for such obviously hard-hitting and unbiased interviews is probably limited to just 3 sentences.  We can’t actually expect the media to read all 7 sentences of each random blog entry they find on an unnofficial website somewhere!  That wouldn’t leave any time for figuring out how to twist the first 3 sentences to fit their needs.

Looking around the city, you’ll see Obama’s trendy little bumper stickers everywhere.  One thing I hardly ever see, though, is someone advertising McCain.  No, his supporters are far more likely to plaster a snarky “NOBAMA” sticker on their cars.

Really, though, it’s as if McCain supporters have subconsciously conceded, “Look…we know our candidate sucks, but you don’t want Obama, do you???”  That’s all McCain is, though, isn’t he?  A write in vote for “Not Democrat.”  Perhaps the Republicans should have thought of this a long time ago and nominated someone good.

In any case, I can certainly agree with the sentiment.  I, too, want Nobama for president.  I also want, um…let’s say…McCain’t?